Documentary Review: American Experience: Death and the Civil War (2012)

After the initial fuss was over, the North and the South settled into real war, and the casualty figures were such that neither side was prepared to death with the slaughter, with the dead.  There was no way in tact for getting bodies home, nor was there proper burial details to inter the bodies where they were.  Bodies lying battlefield, and subsequent photographic essays of these bodies brought the carnage home to the citizenry. 
Even though the paper would publish military records of the deceased, often these were incomplete, or mistakes were made.  If it listed someone as wounded, they often later died.  There were demands for change.  This started with volunteer societies, including Clara Barton's, which brought some relief.  Still many bodies were interred in mass graves, and many were left unburied.  There were some improvements, and a Union organization helped with some reclamation of bodies, but even at the end of the war there was much to do.  On the Union side, Clara Barton published stories in papers.  Sometimes this lead to closure.  Money was expended for the recovery of bodies and a commission set up, after convincing the government that they were responsible to see the bodies were returned home.  These efforts lead to the ability to locate many bodies, and the establishment of National Cemeteries on battlefields throughout the country.  Those of Southern extraction, noted that Confederate troops were left out, and eventually provision was made for the search of these bodies as well.  on the Union side 55 percent of the deceased were identified.  The statistics were worse for the Southern soldiers.  Many were left in unmarked graves.
You may also want to review this essay by Walt Whitman
http://bwardlehistory.blogspot.com/2014/02/walt-whitman-prose-of-dead-of-civil-war.html
or this previous post on death and the Civil War.
http://bwardlehistory.blogspot.com/2013/11/us-civil-war-people-became-acquainted.html
The American attitude toward death, and military death in particular changed as a result of the war.  Since there has been greater effort to get the remains home.  Also Memorial Day was established as a time to remember our fallen soldiers. 
This movie can be graphic, but it does make you stop and think.

Poppies and Memorial Day

In 1947 the U.S. published a stamp which honored Moina Belle Michael for establishing the Poppy Memorial Day, which occurs the Saturday before Memorial Day.  After WWI the poppy became a symbol of the tragedy of war.  This was further engrained in our psychy after John McCrae wrote the poem Flander's Fields.  He noticed poppies growing in the burial grounds for those who had died in the war.
In Flanders Fields: John McCrae

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

"Its references to the red poppies that grew over the graves of fallen soldiers resulted in the remembrance poppy becoming one of the world's most recognized memorial symbols for soldiers who have died in conflict"  (Wikipedia)

Michael wrote a poem responding to "In Flanders Fields"
We cherish too, the Poppy red
That grows on fields where valor led,
It seems to signal to the skies
That blood of heroes never dies.
She was instrumental in making the Poppy part of Memorial Day.  By 1922 Veterans of Foreign Wars began selling poppies.

The History of Gold Star Mothers

Manteca Ministerial, that puts on the festivities at Woodward Park does a very good job of honoring Gold Star Families.  I was doing a book for my stamp collection a few years back, and came across some information about Gold Star Mothers.  Gold Star Mothers was started during WWI in honor of George Vaughn Seibold by his mother Grace Seibold.  George was an aviator, who was shot down over France.  He had been cited for bravery before his death.  His family had difficulty finding out what happened when his letters stopped because he was attached to a foreign unit.  Grace kept herself from facing her son's probable death by visiting hospitals and serving.  She finally joined a group of women in similar circumstance.  Gold Star Families have a special part in our society.  Of course out veterans carry the bigger sacrifice, but their families have also sacrificed.  In my sister-in-law's family they lost a nephew to war violence this year, just before he was due to retire from the military.  I can not imagine the sacrifice.
http://www.goldstarmoms.com/whoweare/history/history.htm

A few years ago we had the honor of being a Blue Star Family.  These are families who have someone serving.  Mark was in Iraq.  Gold Star Families are those who have sacrificed a family member to defense of our freedom.